Dear blog,
i had my downs at the end of 2011 due to finding uni. getting rejected by all the uni's to do med has obviously lead to depression and at times i felt suicide was my only option.
At i had a chance to do my foundation to do at president and that was the time when i received a call frm lincoln saying i got accepted there. they somehow said mmc will approve. I lead a happy normal,stressed student life, but i was enjoying. i hate the place at first but as time goes by and i was settling in adjusting student med life and remarkable 19 friends, i was so delighted until my dreams were shattered after 2 months + when the dean called me and my friend and said mmc didn't approve.
I knew my fucked up life b4 has arrived. I was in despair and so is my friend. They cheated on us so easily. and now my quest to search for a uni and gaining a chance has started. i feel so dumb and suiciding. friends are crying over the phone as both of us are leaving.
Why god why? i know this is a test for me from u but pls do not make it so hard. i am hoping for a local uni. the thought of going overseas kills especially going to countries such as indonesia and russia. i don't want to go. i can't bare living my family settling there for the next 5 years.
Now i am going to do smtg about this and hopefully i get a seat at mahsa pls. that is all i am hoping for!
i have not been talking to my friends and have deactivated fb and my fucking granny is calling and gonna scold me. i have been telling my friends i am sick. and gosh!! D i have feelings for D but bc of this problem i don't want to tell him and i guess he is never gonna text me again with the hope of me texting him. but seriously maybe this is the best for both of us.
