Dear blog,
so many things changed after ausmat. my life suckzzzzz. horrible. n FML.
Well i did ausmat and i did pretty okay but it wasn't enough to enter medicine MBBS. i could do other course but not this. Why is god testing me?!? i applied to almost every freaking university in malaysia n unfortunately all of it rejected. I wanted to study in russia but parents said it is too far n not safe there. Okay and then i said okay probably indonesia according to my uncle. But i still want a well degree u know. local is far better than indonesia :( so i preffered india but somehow dad said it is better here bc his afraid that the uni i went to might be unrecognised or something like that. DAMN IT!
okay so yeah and then it was when my uncle helping me to apply to quest university perak with help of course. haihh i'll only know the results next week!!! *crossing fingers* if i really don't get this i have no choice but to go to overseas or else repeat the whole damn thing. but i guess overseas since my parents doesn't want me to waste time :'(
That was one so u can imagine me crying the whole time, depressed, n honestly i felt like commiting suicide at that time. god p
Thursday, May 17, 2012
I'm confused about love
Dear blog,
its been months now. Well i bet you know what kinda girl i am. I fell in and came out of love. Actually to rephrase it was more like a crush and its one sided. To tell you the truth i actually feel like i'm falling for D. He is a nice guy. I rejected him once due to my strict family who obviously will kill me and chop me into pieces (i thought) so after saying no. I told mum about D and surprisingly she said ok. OK! she kinda like him. so now my family members are constantly making fun of me and D excluding my dad bc he will definitely be pissed off.
So D is a nice guy. i can see he is still trying for me. He constantly texts me morning and night despite those 7 hours difference. He is in UK and i'm here. I mean is this right? I know he is a great guy even his friends said that. He is very caring and funny.Obviously the kinda guy that i wanna make a husband and a good future father perhaps? but i am actually confused. i keep on thinking there will be future guys. i mean better guy probably when im doing my degree. So i constantly deny his love for me and sometimes i feel that i love him. When there is no connection in whatsapp i kinda miss him. i constantly stare at my phone for his message. i love him.
but...
1) i don't know if his shy but he proposed me through fb message! that was a major turn off. anyway all this was before the skyping session and he didn't have my number yet.
2) He is not good looking. I know i may sound like a bitch but physical attraction does play a role. i mean honestly i feel he is cute but reality when i told my friends about him they were like eeewww and everything. i still remember my classmates was making fun of him last time.
3) long distance relationship. I don't really know whether i can do this. in a way its good coz my fly is strict n meeting up won't be a problem since he's there but at the same time can i do it?
4) is it love or lust? frankly i am quite ok. and i found out before me. he had an ex but she cheated on him. And after that he told my friend that there was this girl and he kinda likes her. and i found out that he said no to the girl bc he was not ready. and now me. i mean i know he likes me and it turns out to be that he likes me since high school even before he was with his ex but he somehow knew he was way out of my league. (i was quiet back then so i didn't stand a chance with him)
so yeah those are the few issues. god whatever it is. i am listening to u and pls provide me the right pathway :)
its been months now. Well i bet you know what kinda girl i am. I fell in and came out of love. Actually to rephrase it was more like a crush and its one sided. To tell you the truth i actually feel like i'm falling for D. He is a nice guy. I rejected him once due to my strict family who obviously will kill me and chop me into pieces (i thought) so after saying no. I told mum about D and surprisingly she said ok. OK! she kinda like him. so now my family members are constantly making fun of me and D excluding my dad bc he will definitely be pissed off.
So D is a nice guy. i can see he is still trying for me. He constantly texts me morning and night despite those 7 hours difference. He is in UK and i'm here. I mean is this right? I know he is a great guy even his friends said that. He is very caring and funny.Obviously the kinda guy that i wanna make a husband and a good future father perhaps? but i am actually confused. i keep on thinking there will be future guys. i mean better guy probably when im doing my degree. So i constantly deny his love for me and sometimes i feel that i love him. When there is no connection in whatsapp i kinda miss him. i constantly stare at my phone for his message. i love him.
but...
1) i don't know if his shy but he proposed me through fb message! that was a major turn off. anyway all this was before the skyping session and he didn't have my number yet.
2) He is not good looking. I know i may sound like a bitch but physical attraction does play a role. i mean honestly i feel he is cute but reality when i told my friends about him they were like eeewww and everything. i still remember my classmates was making fun of him last time.
3) long distance relationship. I don't really know whether i can do this. in a way its good coz my fly is strict n meeting up won't be a problem since he's there but at the same time can i do it?
4) is it love or lust? frankly i am quite ok. and i found out before me. he had an ex but she cheated on him. And after that he told my friend that there was this girl and he kinda likes her. and i found out that he said no to the girl bc he was not ready. and now me. i mean i know he likes me and it turns out to be that he likes me since high school even before he was with his ex but he somehow knew he was way out of my league. (i was quiet back then so i didn't stand a chance with him)
so yeah those are the few issues. god whatever it is. i am listening to u and pls provide me the right pathway :)
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Dissapointment at year 2012
Dear blog,
i had my downs at the end of 2011 due to finding uni. getting rejected by all the uni's to do med has obviously lead to depression and at times i felt suicide was my only option.
At i had a chance to do my foundation to do at president and that was the time when i received a call frm lincoln saying i got accepted there. they somehow said mmc will approve. I lead a happy normal,stressed student life, but i was enjoying. i hate the place at first but as time goes by and i was settling in adjusting student med life and remarkable 19 friends, i was so delighted until my dreams were shattered after 2 months + when the dean called me and my friend and said mmc didn't approve.
I knew my fucked up life b4 has arrived. I was in despair and so is my friend. They cheated on us so easily. and now my quest to search for a uni and gaining a chance has started. i feel so dumb and suiciding. friends are crying over the phone as both of us are leaving.
Why god why? i know this is a test for me from u but pls do not make it so hard. i am hoping for a local uni. the thought of going overseas kills especially going to countries such as indonesia and russia. i don't want to go. i can't bare living my family settling there for the next 5 years.
Now i am going to do smtg about this and hopefully i get a seat at mahsa pls. that is all i am hoping for!
i have not been talking to my friends and have deactivated fb and my fucking granny is calling and gonna scold me. i have been telling my friends i am sick. and gosh!! D i have feelings for D but bc of this problem i don't want to tell him and i guess he is never gonna text me again with the hope of me texting him. but seriously maybe this is the best for both of us.
i had my downs at the end of 2011 due to finding uni. getting rejected by all the uni's to do med has obviously lead to depression and at times i felt suicide was my only option.
At i had a chance to do my foundation to do at president and that was the time when i received a call frm lincoln saying i got accepted there. they somehow said mmc will approve. I lead a happy normal,stressed student life, but i was enjoying. i hate the place at first but as time goes by and i was settling in adjusting student med life and remarkable 19 friends, i was so delighted until my dreams were shattered after 2 months + when the dean called me and my friend and said mmc didn't approve.
I knew my fucked up life b4 has arrived. I was in despair and so is my friend. They cheated on us so easily. and now my quest to search for a uni and gaining a chance has started. i feel so dumb and suiciding. friends are crying over the phone as both of us are leaving.
Why god why? i know this is a test for me from u but pls do not make it so hard. i am hoping for a local uni. the thought of going overseas kills especially going to countries such as indonesia and russia. i don't want to go. i can't bare living my family settling there for the next 5 years.
Now i am going to do smtg about this and hopefully i get a seat at mahsa pls. that is all i am hoping for!
i have not been talking to my friends and have deactivated fb and my fucking granny is calling and gonna scold me. i have been telling my friends i am sick. and gosh!! D i have feelings for D but bc of this problem i don't want to tell him and i guess he is never gonna text me again with the hope of me texting him. but seriously maybe this is the best for both of us.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
I rejected him but now i love him
Dear blog,
its been a really long time i didn't blog. well finally accepted into lincoln. After so much of hassle i finally am studying medical. Lovely field but requires a lot of hard work. People there are extremely nice. Still need to make friends tho. okay so today done with biochem. Not so easy but yeah i was new so my marks was not taken into account.
Okay so this guy from tuition days proposed to me through fb. pfffft i knw proposing through fb is a major turn off~~~ but i get it he's shy and just broke up with another girl. ( FYI SHE WAS A BITCH) but he likes me from last time. and i actually rejected him.
now im regretting it. i love him. we always skype about once a week. its been long he didn't watsapp. i mean total moron i tell u. hasn't he been thinking of me? :o i'm scared im falling for him n he might forget me :'(
its a silly mistake i'm afraid to commit and talking bout meeting him and all. my parents will skin me alive if they find out. but i can't stop thinking of him!!!
all the time, wake up, during the day, sleep. wtf? i know this will cause me in trouble (studies ,driving,etc) but hey i can't help it. its not easy :(
anyway i decided to tell K the guy that liked me b4 which apparently now is my best guyfren. i think i just broke his heart because i told i like the tuition guy. Ok rephrase i didn't say that. i said i regretted rejecting him. after talking to K he somehow gave an excuse n wanted to hung up :/ i feel like a bitch since he's my friend. i broke his heart :( but hey he likes so many girls b4 me. i think he will overcome, right? right? ohh god !!!!
its been a really long time i didn't blog. well finally accepted into lincoln. After so much of hassle i finally am studying medical. Lovely field but requires a lot of hard work. People there are extremely nice. Still need to make friends tho. okay so today done with biochem. Not so easy but yeah i was new so my marks was not taken into account.
Okay so this guy from tuition days proposed to me through fb. pfffft i knw proposing through fb is a major turn off~~~ but i get it he's shy and just broke up with another girl. ( FYI SHE WAS A BITCH) but he likes me from last time. and i actually rejected him.
now im regretting it. i love him. we always skype about once a week. its been long he didn't watsapp. i mean total moron i tell u. hasn't he been thinking of me? :o i'm scared im falling for him n he might forget me :'(
its a silly mistake i'm afraid to commit and talking bout meeting him and all. my parents will skin me alive if they find out. but i can't stop thinking of him!!!
all the time, wake up, during the day, sleep. wtf? i know this will cause me in trouble (studies ,driving,etc) but hey i can't help it. its not easy :(
anyway i decided to tell K the guy that liked me b4 which apparently now is my best guyfren. i think i just broke his heart because i told i like the tuition guy. Ok rephrase i didn't say that. i said i regretted rejecting him. after talking to K he somehow gave an excuse n wanted to hung up :/ i feel like a bitch since he's my friend. i broke his heart :( but hey he likes so many girls b4 me. i think he will overcome, right? right? ohh god !!!!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
My STUCK UNIVERSITY
Well im still stuck while my friends is in melaka manipal i m here stuck without a uni because of my fucking low atar in ausmat -____________-
oh well uncle is helping now. n i will only know at the end of this week. i hope i get into perak or penang. pls. god. i really dowana go overseas. pls
Monday, January 16, 2012
true love does not exist
Dear blog,
i am so not interested in love whether i feel pressured at times. my friends have bf while im single but not available.
I mean i'm waiting for the right one to come out. someone handsome, stylish, rich and romantic,loving, crazily in love with me <3
but hello all this is like what the hell...there's no one like that. someone who loves to give me flowers, rock diving, riding a horse. someone which i can proudly show and ppl will be envy.
I M SO NOT A POPULAR GIRL AT SCHOOL. but i bet if i have one and tell anyone i'm in a relationship. they will be curious and dying to know who is this quiet and single girl dating.
but life isn't easy. its not like all those romantic story where the guys are hot,perfect, and loving,romantic..
Guess i will be single for my whole life or probably forced into an arranged marriage.HUH BORING
i just wish there is one out there. loves me dance salsa on a cruise, buys for me everything and overpouring happiness and love :) haihh dream that i doubt will come true. Nobody's perfect!
i am so not interested in love whether i feel pressured at times. my friends have bf while im single but not available.
I mean i'm waiting for the right one to come out. someone handsome, stylish, rich and romantic,loving, crazily in love with me <3
but hello all this is like what the hell...there's no one like that. someone who loves to give me flowers, rock diving, riding a horse. someone which i can proudly show and ppl will be envy.
I M SO NOT A POPULAR GIRL AT SCHOOL. but i bet if i have one and tell anyone i'm in a relationship. they will be curious and dying to know who is this quiet and single girl dating.
but life isn't easy. its not like all those romantic story where the guys are hot,perfect, and loving,romantic..
Guess i will be single for my whole life or probably forced into an arranged marriage.HUH BORING
i just wish there is one out there. loves me dance salsa on a cruise, buys for me everything and overpouring happiness and love :) haihh dream that i doubt will come true. Nobody's perfect!
Friday, January 13, 2012
applying for uni with a low atar
Dear blog,
i am totally depressed. haihh sad. i had an atar of 74.15 and i can't seem to apply anywhere.
IMU said no they need an atar of 85
monash said no. they need 97.5
as soon as this 2 unis rejected me i was down. LIKE TOTALLY DOWN
i have to spend another 8 months doing foundation in science at mahsa since they rejected my application!!! they said they need 65 for each 3 subjects!!! fuck la
where the hell is that possible!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean this is AUSMAT getting 65 for each sub is not easy for heaven sake!!!
i just don't know why... maybe i am gonna get rejected for everything!
i feel so sad. i had just done my ielts and im feeling extremely down
one after another rejection
and my hope was mahsa...and they turned me down
damn sad..
i cry everyday and regret taking ausmat
NEVER TAKE IT. ITS A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY AND ONLY MAKES IT COMPLICATED
fuck la!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haihh my dad is sulking and my mum is down and they both are argueing about me!!!
i just cant take it...i feel like dying at times.
my only hope is my uncle and i hope he won't let me down at all. pls god don't be so mean to me :'(
fine if not mahsa pls MSU
or else UCSI OR CYBERJAYA PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS :'(
i am totally depressed. haihh sad. i had an atar of 74.15 and i can't seem to apply anywhere.
IMU said no they need an atar of 85
monash said no. they need 97.5
as soon as this 2 unis rejected me i was down. LIKE TOTALLY DOWN
i have to spend another 8 months doing foundation in science at mahsa since they rejected my application!!! they said they need 65 for each 3 subjects!!! fuck la
where the hell is that possible!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean this is AUSMAT getting 65 for each sub is not easy for heaven sake!!!
i just don't know why... maybe i am gonna get rejected for everything!
i feel so sad. i had just done my ielts and im feeling extremely down
one after another rejection
and my hope was mahsa...and they turned me down
damn sad..
i cry everyday and regret taking ausmat
NEVER TAKE IT. ITS A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY AND ONLY MAKES IT COMPLICATED
fuck la!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haihh my dad is sulking and my mum is down and they both are argueing about me!!!
i just cant take it...i feel like dying at times.
my only hope is my uncle and i hope he won't let me down at all. pls god don't be so mean to me :'(
fine if not mahsa pls MSU
or else UCSI OR CYBERJAYA PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS :'(
Monday, January 9, 2012
end of ausmat~ low atar
So results were out on the 29th of dec (supposedly) but it was out on the 28th evening!!! so i was hesitant. scary of course. i saw everyone status on fb. there were those who scored and those who did badly and those who still does not want to check like me. So finally i had the balls to check.
it was around 10 smtg when i decided to check and i had a fucking marks who fucked up my life. i studied hard and i had a low atar. i only had 74.15!!! what the fuck?!? i was devastated. not even >75
and i checked my marks i sucked in my chem only 49.8 and maths 52.1 and it was D
so 2 D!!!fucked up
it was around 10 smtg when i decided to check and i had a fucking marks who fucked up my life. i studied hard and i had a low atar. i only had 74.15!!! what the fuck?!? i was devastated. not even >75
and i checked my marks i sucked in my chem only 49.8 and maths 52.1 and it was D
so 2 D!!!fucked up
Friday, December 16, 2011
Its so difficult to understand guys.
Dear blog,
I'm on break now well sort of break. Done with my course and such and currently waiting for result -_____-
Okay so its weird i told K i don't think it will work out and he still texts and calls me in d morning. i mean if a girl rejects he should just backoff...is he trying his luck -.-
Okay leave that now PK
after so long he didn't chatted with me but now what!!!!!! he chatted with me yesterday surprisingly!!!!!
I MEAN WTF?!?
okay so maybe i started by liking his gf album with him but hello liking was just part of it!!!! ntg serious until he was like hello old fren..wtf?!?
something is definitely wrong with him -________________________________________-
stupid and then he ignored me...wth..he didnt even know our mum met and he just dont care.
he didnt even know his gf chatted with me..i dont know he could be lying or just not bothered!!!! i don't care!!!!!!!!!
i mean what kinda dumbass friend is he
my sis said i still have feelings for him but i stalk his profile but i hate him...i should just delete my fb i guess...and stop it la..too much haihhh!!!
I'm on break now well sort of break. Done with my course and such and currently waiting for result -_____-
Okay so its weird i told K i don't think it will work out and he still texts and calls me in d morning. i mean if a girl rejects he should just backoff...is he trying his luck -.-
Okay leave that now PK
after so long he didn't chatted with me but now what!!!!!! he chatted with me yesterday surprisingly!!!!!
I MEAN WTF?!?
okay so maybe i started by liking his gf album with him but hello liking was just part of it!!!! ntg serious until he was like hello old fren..wtf?!?
something is definitely wrong with him -________________________________________-
stupid and then he ignored me...wth..he didnt even know our mum met and he just dont care.
he didnt even know his gf chatted with me..i dont know he could be lying or just not bothered!!!! i don't care!!!!!!!!!
i mean what kinda dumbass friend is he
my sis said i still have feelings for him but i stalk his profile but i hate him...i should just delete my fb i guess...and stop it la..too much haihhh!!!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
we brokeup
we broke up well kinda in a way :/
i told him i cant be with him..never...
my parents wont approve i meant K..so i fb messaged him n he replied me thru text saying i better not meant that..but i guess he wont reply me or even call me anymore!!!!!!!!!!!! HAIHH!!!!!
i told him i cant be with him..never...
my parents wont approve i meant K..so i fb messaged him n he replied me thru text saying i better not meant that..but i guess he wont reply me or even call me anymore!!!!!!!!!!!! HAIHH!!!!!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Another boring day
hey blog,
next friday i am done with all this compulsory subject!!!! so gotta study for now haha. yesterday i watched breaking dawn and guess what K came all the way to see me. He was soooo short and not the kinda dream guy that i want not even close. there are so many differences between us. Honestly i don't really feel the love when im talking or seeing him. its like i just wanna a company a friend and he is perfect for that. not love.
is it possible that i don't really know the difference in love? or is it because i just haven't find my mr.right.
Well the weird thing is P commented on my status. what a bummer. so unpredictable la this P too much...i replied and until now no reply. what is wrong with this male species?!? i will never seem to understand them -___- hmm im just gonna act normal with K and dont show anything. u know he is shorter than me and he knows that so how am i???? argggggghhhhhhhh wateva life is absolutely complicating to find a company..one thing for sure I HATE LOVE STORIES~~~~~~~~~ it doesn't last i mean seriously...not at all.!!!!!
next friday i am done with all this compulsory subject!!!! so gotta study for now haha. yesterday i watched breaking dawn and guess what K came all the way to see me. He was soooo short and not the kinda dream guy that i want not even close. there are so many differences between us. Honestly i don't really feel the love when im talking or seeing him. its like i just wanna a company a friend and he is perfect for that. not love.
is it possible that i don't really know the difference in love? or is it because i just haven't find my mr.right.
Well the weird thing is P commented on my status. what a bummer. so unpredictable la this P too much...i replied and until now no reply. what is wrong with this male species?!? i will never seem to understand them -___- hmm im just gonna act normal with K and dont show anything. u know he is shorter than me and he knows that so how am i???? argggggghhhhhhhh wateva life is absolutely complicating to find a company..one thing for sure I HATE LOVE STORIES~~~~~~~~~ it doesn't last i mean seriously...not at all.!!!!!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
malaysian studies
Dear blog.
I am absent today for my 1st malaysian studies class. LOL reason: I am sick and too tired to even go :'(
Yesterday was the worst day in my life! we had to volunteer in a carnival.
As it is, waking up in d morning was a total disaster especially when i had just completed WACE about 3 days back. so then the even was okay but i didn't enjoy. it was more like a torture.
SO we were divided into 3 groups, logistics, survey and registration.
Logistics were involved in carrying tables n chairs, setting up stuff whereas registration is basically the goyang kaki job n survey talking about ppl.
i also had a prob encountering with karats!!! about 5 of then disturbed me man!!!!
I am absent today for my 1st malaysian studies class. LOL reason: I am sick and too tired to even go :'(
Yesterday was the worst day in my life! we had to volunteer in a carnival.
As it is, waking up in d morning was a total disaster especially when i had just completed WACE about 3 days back. so then the even was okay but i didn't enjoy. it was more like a torture.
SO we were divided into 3 groups, logistics, survey and registration.
Logistics were involved in carrying tables n chairs, setting up stuff whereas registration is basically the goyang kaki job n survey talking about ppl.
i also had a prob encountering with karats!!! about 5 of then disturbed me man!!!!
malaysian studies
Dear blog.
I am absent today for my 1st malaysian studies class. LOL reason: I am sick and too tired to even go :'(
Yesterday was the worst day in my life! we had to volunteer in a carnival.
As it is, waking up in d morning was a total disaster especially when i had just completed WACE about 3 days back. so then the even was okay but i didn't enjoy. it was more like a torture.
SO we were divided into 3 groups, logistics, survey and registration.
Logistics were involved in carrying tables n chairs, setting up stuff whereas registration is basically the goyang kaki job n survey talking about ppl.
i also had a prob encountering with karats!!! about 5 of then disturbed me man!!!!
I am absent today for my 1st malaysian studies class. LOL reason: I am sick and too tired to even go :'(
Yesterday was the worst day in my life! we had to volunteer in a carnival.
As it is, waking up in d morning was a total disaster especially when i had just completed WACE about 3 days back. so then the even was okay but i didn't enjoy. it was more like a torture.
SO we were divided into 3 groups, logistics, survey and registration.
Logistics were involved in carrying tables n chairs, setting up stuff whereas registration is basically the goyang kaki job n survey talking about ppl.
i also had a prob encountering with karats!!! about 5 of then disturbed me man!!!!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
life after Ausmat
Dear blog,
its been few days after i completed wace. the papers were okay few were errrr i don't know what the hell?!? and most of it were due to time management. Chem was the toughest for me. So scary man. thinking about the results and the consequences. whether i will be able to enter medicine school? only god knows.
My choice is IMU but my parents is basically asking me to enter Monash. Monash is like so high. and they need a good mark in chemistry which is like impossible!!! -_______- but anyway i'll see what i'll do
well i deactivated my fb for a looong time and i came back. PK STILL DIDN'T CHAT! but he instead likes the status and today he commented on my wall post. sooooo weird!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whereas K he told his friend he likes me. until now i don't really know the answer. such a sad thing.
i mean its so difficult for us to be together. extremely difficult.so sad. i mean my parents will skin me alive if they found out :( i like him but the prob is i don't think there's any physical attraction between us i mean he is less good looking. i mean somehow my heart tells me there is this guy cool handsome, rich walking on the earth right now. i mean that is every females dream. but could my feelings towards him just be an affection or love...
right now there is this guy who proposed to me on fb!!!! i mean wth??? he said he came to my college without my acknowledgement. ohhh goshhh like stalker much!!!!!!
Okay then i guess i might as well go for now. community project tomorrow hahahahahaha and i am down with a flu and soarthroat. omg. to make it worst i am having my period!!!! so difficult how to change the pad man! -_____-
its been few days after i completed wace. the papers were okay few were errrr i don't know what the hell?!? and most of it were due to time management. Chem was the toughest for me. So scary man. thinking about the results and the consequences. whether i will be able to enter medicine school? only god knows.
My choice is IMU but my parents is basically asking me to enter Monash. Monash is like so high. and they need a good mark in chemistry which is like impossible!!! -_______- but anyway i'll see what i'll do
well i deactivated my fb for a looong time and i came back. PK STILL DIDN'T CHAT! but he instead likes the status and today he commented on my wall post. sooooo weird!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whereas K he told his friend he likes me. until now i don't really know the answer. such a sad thing.
i mean its so difficult for us to be together. extremely difficult.so sad. i mean my parents will skin me alive if they found out :( i like him but the prob is i don't think there's any physical attraction between us i mean he is less good looking. i mean somehow my heart tells me there is this guy cool handsome, rich walking on the earth right now. i mean that is every females dream. but could my feelings towards him just be an affection or love...
right now there is this guy who proposed to me on fb!!!! i mean wth??? he said he came to my college without my acknowledgement. ohhh goshhh like stalker much!!!!!!
Okay then i guess i might as well go for now. community project tomorrow hahahahahaha and i am down with a flu and soarthroat. omg. to make it worst i am having my period!!!! so difficult how to change the pad man! -_____-
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
the unexpected visitor n the funny dream
OKAY
U must b wondering bout the connection n wat is the title about..believe me its super connected...
this happened on MONDAY MORNING....well i dream of something odd after watching princess n the frog...believe me i was totally obsessed wif prince Naveen..lol
i think it is the most sweetest romantic cartoo eva compared to tangled...it goes down my soul :)
as soon as the movie ended...around 12 then i went to sleep..lol
n tat is where it started!!! i couldnt really remember it..is tat how dream suppose to b..oops i forgot to say something b4 i slept i was basically praying n wishing to tha star "evangeline" tat 1 day i will meet my prince n i dream of.........
cheng cheng cheng
*brandon!!!!!!!! he is this guy in my ex-tuition....he is a major player + flirt according to the guls...hahaha...in my dream he was a selling something but he save me frm something n we fell 4 each other.stupid..damn stupid
how the hell can i possibly dream of him after i wish 4 the star....he didnt even talk to me only once in form 3 he said hi with a flirting face..how????
but then he found a new gul n breakup dated an ex-assuntarian n break up n now another gul both older than him..player...i even told my sis..she said he is hot then pondan n back to hot....her hormones r imbalance..maklumlah blm menstruate..hahaha
anyway then i woke up n dont rememba any thing except the fact tat 100% sure brandon was involved n no1 else..pls he even didnt add me in fb...the guys in tuition always think tat i m a good gul..quiet...n few even think i m a relation of the ferocious teacher..nooo way...n brandon likes to date guls of different race especially indians..but there is no way i m gonna fall 4 him..he is a player..i love sme1 deeply n i dont trust in love!!!!!! how can i possibly love him...okay i admit i had this small crush laz time perhaps till nw...but forget it i m so not gonna date him..imagine my fly finds out..i will b in dead meat soon!!!! hahaha but i guess he has no interest in me anymore neva even added me in fb..so forget it,,its all 4 good...i hope..he is currenly working somewhere.okay n as soon i woke up there was a bell ringing guess wat??? i tot was the guard or something perhaps the gate was not close but i clearly remembered i went out at 12 am to give my fishes food n the gate was closed..thennnn
omg
omg
omg
my maid tot it was the flower man or newspaper boy but nooooooo
it was my grandma..not exactly but my real grandpa's sis which is also called grandma (PARTI IN TAMIL)
she came she came she came!!!!!! i hate her tats it i juz hope she stays till sunday n move her butt off i juz dont like her...she thinks i dont knw how to speak tamil n my dad is emphasizing her to teach us.y dont they understand.i knw how to speak but afraid i might tell it wrongly.(Y)
anyway my mum is worst so much headache wants her to get lost she even doesnt like my maids cooking..even my dad scolded me n asked me to learn frm her.24-hr's watching indian series..n my movies r all disrupted
please god dont b mean i m hoping she goes on sunday pls pls pls pls.....mean while i got to forget about brandon!!!!!! get off my head..is it weid for me to actually add him???
name *brandon has been changed for the privacy of the gul in the purple scarf
U must b wondering bout the connection n wat is the title about..believe me its super connected...
this happened on MONDAY MORNING....well i dream of something odd after watching princess n the frog...believe me i was totally obsessed wif prince Naveen..lol
i think it is the most sweetest romantic cartoo eva compared to tangled...it goes down my soul :)
as soon as the movie ended...around 12 then i went to sleep..lol
n tat is where it started!!! i couldnt really remember it..is tat how dream suppose to b..oops i forgot to say something b4 i slept i was basically praying n wishing to tha star "evangeline" tat 1 day i will meet my prince n i dream of.........
cheng cheng cheng
*brandon!!!!!!!! he is this guy in my ex-tuition....he is a major player + flirt according to the guls...hahaha...in my dream he was a selling something but he save me frm something n we fell 4 each other.stupid..damn stupid
how the hell can i possibly dream of him after i wish 4 the star....he didnt even talk to me only once in form 3 he said hi with a flirting face..how????
but then he found a new gul n breakup dated an ex-assuntarian n break up n now another gul both older than him..player...i even told my sis..she said he is hot then pondan n back to hot....her hormones r imbalance..maklumlah blm menstruate..hahaha
anyway then i woke up n dont rememba any thing except the fact tat 100% sure brandon was involved n no1 else..pls he even didnt add me in fb...the guys in tuition always think tat i m a good gul..quiet...n few even think i m a relation of the ferocious teacher..nooo way...n brandon likes to date guls of different race especially indians..but there is no way i m gonna fall 4 him..he is a player..i love sme1 deeply n i dont trust in love!!!!!! how can i possibly love him...okay i admit i had this small crush laz time perhaps till nw...but forget it i m so not gonna date him..imagine my fly finds out..i will b in dead meat soon!!!! hahaha but i guess he has no interest in me anymore neva even added me in fb..so forget it,,its all 4 good...i hope..he is currenly working somewhere.okay n as soon i woke up there was a bell ringing guess wat??? i tot was the guard or something perhaps the gate was not close but i clearly remembered i went out at 12 am to give my fishes food n the gate was closed..thennnn
omg
omg
omg
my maid tot it was the flower man or newspaper boy but nooooooo
it was my grandma..not exactly but my real grandpa's sis which is also called grandma (PARTI IN TAMIL)
she came she came she came!!!!!! i hate her tats it i juz hope she stays till sunday n move her butt off i juz dont like her...she thinks i dont knw how to speak tamil n my dad is emphasizing her to teach us.y dont they understand.i knw how to speak but afraid i might tell it wrongly.(Y)
anyway my mum is worst so much headache wants her to get lost she even doesnt like my maids cooking..even my dad scolded me n asked me to learn frm her.24-hr's watching indian series..n my movies r all disrupted
please god dont b mean i m hoping she goes on sunday pls pls pls pls.....mean while i got to forget about brandon!!!!!! get off my head..is it weid for me to actually add him???
name *brandon has been changed for the privacy of the gul in the purple scarf
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
friends
hmmm..friends i have many friends not to say tat many...adalah tapi yang close cuma segelintir sahaja...nasib baik ada fb dapatlah keep in touch sikit.tapi ada yang jarang pergi fb...jarang kali...sampai2 hilang contact...kawan terbaik aku waktu secondary miss A... dia baik sangat hmm kira2 drama queen...like betul2 bukannya macam orang biasa..hidupku ibarat filem kadang2...akulah heroinnya hehehe... miss A sangat unik baik keluarganya pun baik tapi gitu2 adalah juga sifat dia yang negatif..maklumlah tak ada org yang perfect di dunia ini...miss A ibunya pun sangat baik dia berbeza rela tumpangkan aku lagi bagi makanan....tapi malangnya aku dah habis sekolah nak masuk college masuk UNI S lagi
masalahnya miss A dan Miss K juga kawan aku ambil jurusan yang lain...hmmm kira2 tak jumpa lagi kut..i miss all of them...tapi hidup ini ibarat roda...aku masuk fb connectlah dgn kawan2 primary ku...satu kat pd...satu lagi singapore...satu lagi dah masuk UNI S... aku tunggu march intake je..aku dengar yang kat PD pun nak datang UNI S aku tak keberatan cuma takut je mereka tak nak kawan dgn ku...aku kenal mereka sejak tahun 1 sampai darjah 4 lepad tu dia pergi pd...nama dia miss S dan yang K pulak pergi singapore...sedih ku...lepas tu aku tak masuk lagi geng mereka miss C dan J..lagi aku cari kawan ku yang baru konon2nya dapat di darjah 4..mereka pun baik tapi sama lar...berpisah..
baru2 ni ada aku tau mereka nak lepak sama2..tapi aku tak dijemput...bahkan kawanku yang ke s'pore ngak kenal ku katanya namaku mcm pernah dengar...sedih jugak...yang kenal ku skrang cuma miss C...sebab ibunya dan ibuku saling kenal...aku berharap agar aku dapat kawan aku dengar MIss S mau datang UNI S tapi mau ke dia kawan ku lagi??? pening apa mungkin mereka benci sikap ku di darjah 4....meninggalkan mereka???
dia cantik katanya datang march intake harap2 bolehlah ku ketemu dia n rock the college...selalunya aku invisible di class selalu...kata org aku pendiam...papaku marah katanya zaman skrg tak boleh diam nanti org ambil kesempatan dlm kesempitan pulak...tapi aku bukan mcm tu mungkin sebab aku serius dan mungkin lebih berakhlak berbanding kawan2 ku lain di SMK...i hope i can change my attitude in uni....mentang2lah nanti manalah tau aku ada boyfriend....yang suka..i must b more open to friend wif guys...seriously
sekian sajalah dari the gul in purple scarf...legaa rasanya hatiku ni dapt blog my thought..hahaha
masalahnya miss A dan Miss K juga kawan aku ambil jurusan yang lain...hmmm kira2 tak jumpa lagi kut..i miss all of them...tapi hidup ini ibarat roda...aku masuk fb connectlah dgn kawan2 primary ku...satu kat pd...satu lagi singapore...satu lagi dah masuk UNI S... aku tunggu march intake je..aku dengar yang kat PD pun nak datang UNI S aku tak keberatan cuma takut je mereka tak nak kawan dgn ku...aku kenal mereka sejak tahun 1 sampai darjah 4 lepad tu dia pergi pd...nama dia miss S dan yang K pulak pergi singapore...sedih ku...lepas tu aku tak masuk lagi geng mereka miss C dan J..lagi aku cari kawan ku yang baru konon2nya dapat di darjah 4..mereka pun baik tapi sama lar...berpisah..
baru2 ni ada aku tau mereka nak lepak sama2..tapi aku tak dijemput...bahkan kawanku yang ke s'pore ngak kenal ku katanya namaku mcm pernah dengar...sedih jugak...yang kenal ku skrang cuma miss C...sebab ibunya dan ibuku saling kenal...aku berharap agar aku dapat kawan aku dengar MIss S mau datang UNI S tapi mau ke dia kawan ku lagi??? pening apa mungkin mereka benci sikap ku di darjah 4....meninggalkan mereka???
dia cantik katanya datang march intake harap2 bolehlah ku ketemu dia n rock the college...selalunya aku invisible di class selalu...kata org aku pendiam...papaku marah katanya zaman skrg tak boleh diam nanti org ambil kesempatan dlm kesempitan pulak...tapi aku bukan mcm tu mungkin sebab aku serius dan mungkin lebih berakhlak berbanding kawan2 ku lain di SMK...i hope i can change my attitude in uni....mentang2lah nanti manalah tau aku ada boyfriend....yang suka..i must b more open to friend wif guys...seriously
sekian sajalah dari the gul in purple scarf...legaa rasanya hatiku ni dapt blog my thought..hahaha
Monday, January 24, 2011
impianku
Hello semua...hari ini teringin pulak aku post dalam bm...saja2...hehehehe....
well, aku ingin meluahkan isi hatiku ini. aku teringin sangat nak pergi ireland.tapi ibuku tak bagiku pergi..kenapa ye??? aku tanya...kata ibuku...aku tak nak kau tak mahu pulang..lepas tu bawa orang putih sebagai suami...hmm i wanna become a doctor.its not like i want to go.i really love malaysia tapi aku mau lebih mungkin influence dari tempat tusyen.cikguku miss N pernah bilang yang ireland is the best place to study medicine...mungin sebabtu..ayahku dah kasi greencard..katanya boleh lepas tu dia cakap yang adik bongsuku boleh pergi..kekadang jealous jugak tapi aku tau dia tu nak bikin aku marah kut...:)
i love to travel really see the world...there is also 1 tiny prob..i m aerophobic...the last time i went berak2 sebanyak 6 kali di pulau pinang dan klia...hish hish but i want to overcome it...
i want to c the world bukannya i tak mampu tapi mampu lebih dari itu keluargaku berada bukannya mau sombong tapi kenyataan dan kami bersyukur sangat2....bukannya aku mintak luar negara tapi dalam negara pun kami tak pergi..sabah,sarawak,terengganu,melaka A famosa..banyak lagi bahkan KL pun belum habis lagi..percaya tak sampai times square pun tak pergi cuma main permainan saja itupun dah lama dah...sungai wang klcc sekarang belum ku jelajah...tapi percaya atau tak aku seorang shopaholic..like seriously baju 800 pun ku beli...mak ku lagilah tapi itu semua buat ku happy n i want to do it more n more n more n more n more....k aku nak pergi tengok awan dania ceritanya best giler..btw i cant wait to shop at salabianca..love it to the more than max..toodles
well, aku ingin meluahkan isi hatiku ini. aku teringin sangat nak pergi ireland.tapi ibuku tak bagiku pergi..kenapa ye??? aku tanya...kata ibuku...aku tak nak kau tak mahu pulang..lepas tu bawa orang putih sebagai suami...hmm i wanna become a doctor.its not like i want to go.i really love malaysia tapi aku mau lebih mungkin influence dari tempat tusyen.cikguku miss N pernah bilang yang ireland is the best place to study medicine...mungin sebabtu..ayahku dah kasi greencard..katanya boleh lepas tu dia cakap yang adik bongsuku boleh pergi..kekadang jealous jugak tapi aku tau dia tu nak bikin aku marah kut...:)
i love to travel really see the world...there is also 1 tiny prob..i m aerophobic...the last time i went berak2 sebanyak 6 kali di pulau pinang dan klia...hish hish but i want to overcome it...
i want to c the world bukannya i tak mampu tapi mampu lebih dari itu keluargaku berada bukannya mau sombong tapi kenyataan dan kami bersyukur sangat2....bukannya aku mintak luar negara tapi dalam negara pun kami tak pergi..sabah,sarawak,terengganu,melaka A famosa..banyak lagi bahkan KL pun belum habis lagi..percaya tak sampai times square pun tak pergi cuma main permainan saja itupun dah lama dah...sungai wang klcc sekarang belum ku jelajah...tapi percaya atau tak aku seorang shopaholic..like seriously baju 800 pun ku beli...mak ku lagilah tapi itu semua buat ku happy n i want to do it more n more n more n more n more....k aku nak pergi tengok awan dania ceritanya best giler..btw i cant wait to shop at salabianca..love it to the more than max..toodles
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
guys!
well...ola..hehehe!!! whenever i blog meaning i wanna express myself....since i m sooo n waaay to free right now!!! i m thinking lot bout my future! college scary guys scary..y the hot guys r all taken or at least my crushes r all taken!!!???? y god..but mayb i understand probably god says it is not good for me! for eg:
robbert pattinson taken by kristen stewart (ok)
taylor lautner " " taylor swift ( still ok)
cr " " some1 wth
hot guy frm tuition hooks upwif my school mate ok tats enough....
i m soo shy to talk to guys nooo of coz not
i guess i m scared i might end up loving them n choose the wrong guy..good seats r always taken right ???
after all can i just imagine my life like cinderella swept away by handsome prince
bull the shit
cant be ever!!!! especially in this modern world...where fairytale dont exist anymore! maybe i dont believe in love n marriage...well marriage its really important n lovely..but i havent get to believe it...like my fortune teller says 1.....i will get into arranged marriage...eeeewwwwwww
my parents was like tat but i can say tat probably to me it doesnt work get wat i mean ; )
2 i will have 2 boyfriends n have 3 kids...i will marry the 2nd 1 eeewwww...wateva tats it i m done...toodles :)
robbert pattinson taken by kristen stewart (ok)
taylor lautner " " taylor swift ( still ok)
cr " " some1 wth
hot guy frm tuition hooks upwif my school mate ok tats enough....
i m soo shy to talk to guys nooo of coz not
i guess i m scared i might end up loving them n choose the wrong guy..good seats r always taken right ???
after all can i just imagine my life like cinderella swept away by handsome prince
bull the shit
cant be ever!!!! especially in this modern world...where fairytale dont exist anymore! maybe i dont believe in love n marriage...well marriage its really important n lovely..but i havent get to believe it...like my fortune teller says 1.....i will get into arranged marriage...eeeewwwwwww
my parents was like tat but i can say tat probably to me it doesnt work get wat i mean ; )
2 i will have 2 boyfriends n have 3 kids...i will marry the 2nd 1 eeewwww...wateva tats it i m done...toodles :)
Friday, January 14, 2011
confused
Ok! I know this is a stupid question to ask have u ever been confused?? like seriously confused tat u cannot take the right choice??? its like choosing a sweet dress tat u ever wanted OR choosing a red sexy heels...oh gosh i m so confused!!! i even started using papers just to see the choice..i plan to go to sunway but the program is either MUFY or AUSMAT!!!!!!!!!!! its sooo confusing both has its pro's n con's...my parents cant help much as they leave it to me. only the lord could help me now!!!! i m praying n praying so tat i always make the right choice in life! getting 9 A'S IN SPM is all i ever wanted...to repay my parents sacrifice n all they had done to me all this years!!!!! hmmm but right now i really have no clue on wat have i got for exam..predictions
i wanna choose a routh which is fast and safest of all...i dont want to choose the road not taken :)
i wanna choose a routh which is fast and safest of all...i dont want to choose the road not taken :)
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